Business trip to korea -day 1

My co had secured a contract with a korean company to do their process and I was asked to go there for technology transfer..at first, I was very delighted..yeap I have been dreaming to have a business trip at overseas..

But that was my feeling at the first day..as the time passed..I knew I was actually not really happy to go to korea since I couldnt bring my husband along..

My flight was at 1am and I arrived in korea at 8.20am local time..our agent picked us (there were 3 of us and plus 1 wife of one of us *jealous*) up at the airport and brought us sightseeing at seoul for a while..he wanted to bring us to namdaemun but we decided just to have a lunch and went straight to the hotel right after that..

We had bibimbap at a korean restaurant..I thought the taste was outstanding as I was always craved for that every time I watched korean drama that has eating scene..however, it tasted just like typical rice mixed with other food or side dish or in malay we called it as lauk..the only thing was that it can make you full for only just one cup due to high starch rice they used..alhamdulillah I managed to finish it even though it did not really suit my tastebud..

We reached our hotel at around 3.30pm local time..and right now I am in my room feeling lonely..

I just realized that..I have always needed my husband to be by my side or at least my family..or else I would feel really and sad..and that..increases my tendency to cry.. T_T I told him that I missed him so much..I cried..I was expecting that he would pity me..but instead he was angry and he told me that I need to focus on my work and do my best..I was so shocked but I knew thats the best for me..that is something that I should be doing instead of feeling down and let the feeling overwhelmed me..

Alhamdulillah allah granted me someone who could always reminded me of things that I should do..typically the right and relevant things to do..

And I also learned that any place that I may think as better than my country can never be better at my eyes without my family around.. *sad*

*theres no other better place to stay without a family around*

Moving on..

I used to be called as 'pengatur org-suke mengatur org' or in other words..'bossy'..im not sure..I might be one years back..but since I was called that..I tried my best to change myself as I thought I shouldnt hv behaved that way..

To make it clear..I was called that because I used to seek help from other people to get my job done quickly..but I believe I did the same to those people as well..maybe I was not..or my effort was not enough..

So..I changed myself..I tried my very best not to ask help from anyone..this also happened at my workplace..I did my work on my own most of the time so I wont burden other people and I hate it when people called me that way..

Since then, I believe I managed to change myself a bit..I prevent myself to ask for other people's help..but yet..I was called that again when I asked someone to get me something when that someone was about to go to the place where that something was placed in..I was a bit shock and that really hurted me inside..I thought it has been sometime I didnt act that way..but maybe I did..I dont know..

Sometimes I felt that they always like to see the bad side of me..they did not try to look at how the people whom I have asked for help treated me too..they did not treated me that well every time..but still why am I always been spotted on? Why am I always be the bad person?

I used to stay and please them so that they will look at me in a positive way..but as what has happened today..I thought to myself maybe I should stop..and move on..stop pleasing people and moving on with my own life..

*never argue..just move on..defending yourself will not bring you anywhere cause when you are already bad in other people's eyes..you will always be that bad person..stop wasting your time on that*

When a lot of things changed..

I used to speak up my mind..and I figured out most of my girl friends pretended to like me and befriended me but they talk bad about me behind my back..I just found out about it from the boy friends..

So later I slowed down and as time passed by, I have stopped speaking up my mind..most of the things I did in a group conversation were to agree with one of them so I would not be the one whose different from the others..this happened even though I was not in the same agreement with them..I used to have different persepective..

However I realized I was not happy and I slowly tried to speak up my mind..so the existence of this blog..

Now..I have some courages to speak up..and I have followed one group conversation that was participated by my good friends..and I was disagreed with the whole idea they were bringing up and it also involved my religion of which they did not realize a bit about it..I waited and waited if anybody in the has different idea..but there was none!!at first I decided to just let go and move on..but it kept hunting me because I didnt correct my friends even though I knew at least 50% of confidence that they might be wrong bout it..I might not be right either..but the chances were 50-50..

Then I talked about it to my husband and he insisted me to at least speak something..cuz thats the smallest thing I can do..as according to him..so I did..

Later I realized they did not response to my view..none of them did..and I assumed they might have created another group and excluding myself in the group..

Was my doing wrong? I dont know..hopefully it was my bad feeling only..husband adviced me to always thought good of people..and never make bad assumptions on them unless they confessed it to be true..

Huhu

*things change when people changed*

Ramyun..

It's been a while..been busy with work and a little lazy to update anything..the pictures are there..but the mood is nowhere to be found..huhu..

I have a husband who doesnt eat japanese food..it's like a huge NO to him..but one day..

'Awk..sy terasa nk makan ramen la..' and gulp..what?? Did I hear it wrongly? No..I did not..hows that can happen? Hihihi..

Because of this..............

How did he know bout this?

Ok..one day, I was really2 feel like eating ramen..but the closest I can find thats halal is in shah alam..resulted from my googling work..hehehe..one day I'll eat ramen at oshima restaurant..so..I searched and keep on searching until I found a blog talking bout this instant ramen..

I quickly went to the store and bought one for me as a trial..while eating, I offered to him to give it a try and I was quite impressed that he liked it..heheheehe..

Today, we went to the store to buy some groceries and we got us 6 of them as there were some discounted price for buying more..wooohooooo!!!

And thats how he ended up asking for ramen tonight..hehehe

*people always change*

Gembira atau sedih?

Hari2 yang sibuk sejak lebih sebulan yang lepas membuatkan aku terpaksa menangguhkan pengajian untuk sementara waktu.

Selepas berkahwin, hidup lebih banyak teruji dan diduga dengan pelbagai masalah buat aku rasa cemburu melihat orang2 sekeliling ketawa riang tapi aku tak mampu ketawa dari hati disebabkan otak yang tidak henti berfikir tentang masalah dan kerja2 yang tertangguh.

Kadang2 terdetik, alangkah bagusnya jika pengajianku telah tamat. Maka aku mampu untuk lebih fokus pada bebanan kerja yang semakin bertambah setiap hari. Aku risau kemungkinan2 yang aku akan terlepas pandang perkara2 penting dan menyebabkan masalah di masa akan datang.

Hati selalu berbisik 'ya allah..beratnya hidup ini..teringin sekali untuk melupakan bebanan kerja dan bergembira sahaja..'

Aku mungkin seorang yang pelik kerana ada sekelumit rasa gembira dalam hati bila aku terpaksa menghadapi semua ini. Mungkin kerana aku rasakan ini sebagai cabaran untuk aku lepasi dalam membentuk diri yang lebih baik untuk masa akan datang.

Entahlah..hati aku berbolak balik antara rasa gembira dan rasa sedih..

Doa aku, moga allah mudahkan semua jalan aku sekeluarga juga berkati rezeki yang kami peroleh.

Ameen.

*bintang, bintang, berapakah jarakmu untuk aku gapai?*

slow progress

what's with slow progress??

i feel that my head is going to blow when dealing with laid back people..

I have always tried to avoid dealing with this kind of people because they somehow dont have the sense of urgency..

all they do is relaxing and eating and sleeping and more relaxing..no productivity!

oh pleaseeeee!! dont you feel sorry to waste even only 1 second? specially when you have something to do????

i like progress! and i need progress!!

arghhhh!! why do i have to deal with themmmm???? why?? why???

im no perfect person too..i can still tolerate/compromise with a lot of things but i really cant handle it when small simple tasks which can be done in 1 day..but they were not completed even after 3 days!!

i hate it so much!! like seriously!! whats on your mind??? dont u have goals??


Dear Allah,

Please grant me more patience and please open their heart to take life more seriously..please and please and please..i beg you.. T_T



*S.T.R.E.S.S*

Contribution vs money

Which one is more important?

Haha..I used to have a principle where I have always wanted to contribute something to the country and may that lead to the ummah too..

I have gotten the opportunity to do that..but it seems that the journey is so tough..and with the fact the income is not as big as other people..and I am married..

But holding on my principle..and I have been living with it..I tried to shut my ears n to close my eyes from looking at other people's big income..specially my close friends..so that I will not be dragged into doing-my-work-for-the-sack-of-money mindset..and to my surprise..I managed to do it for like 2 years..

Now that I am married..I am expecting to achieve my goals that have been set for some years ahead..and it's quite hard on me since my timeline has been dragged for a year or two..feel like crying..and when I am at this stage..having people offered me job with higher pay..and people who tried to influence me in changing my job to get better pay..I have been refusing to the offers/invitations..until today..when one offered me a job that is very closely related to my current job with 150% higher pay (maybe it's not really high for some people out there) made me pause a while to think which one is important - my principle or money?

Yet..I decided to choose my principle over money at this point of time I am writing this entry..

Am I making a bad move? What about other people out there? Is there anyone has the same thought as mine?

May Allah lead me to the right path and grant me more knowledge and achievement in life..

*sometimes money cant buy just everything*

Unexpected event

It was a hectic weekend...

Sat; cleaning up house, went for 'merisik' for my brother at night

Sun; attended an engagement event of a friend of mine, visited a schoolmate at kpj shah alam, went for grocery shopping at alamanda

But..of all events, I would like to share the moment of visiting my friend at the hospital - it really touched my heart and I could not stop myself from thinking about it.. T_T

I have gotten the message since last week and planned for a visit during the weekend..at first, I thought it was only a tumour (not a cancerous one) although it's usually can be cancerous but I wished to stay positive..

We reached there at around 2pm and after gathered with another 2 friends of mine..we went to the room..btw, it's 'he'..a male friend from my high school..so we had some conversation with him and later found out that it can be a cancerous one as it is already in 10-inch size..whats more..it affected the fatal organ, so only 2inch of it can be removed and he has to go for a chemotherapy session starting today to remove the rest of it..when I heard 10-inch..I thought 'it's huge!'..and I was really speechless because I was really sad to think about him and his family and he's still young anyway..

His mother was there and she could not stop crying..I can see how worry she was..after stayed there for a while, we decided to leave...all I can say to him at that time was only to remain positive for anything that may come up next..just make sure to have a positive thinking so that the cells can be positive as well in order to heal faster or at least it will not get worst..and later can survive better..

To my shock, his wife was really calm..really2 calm..I did not see any sign of tears in her eyes..I believe she was holding in inside her for she has a son and a husband to take care of..I could not imagine if I was in her place..I may not easily accept this and stay as calm as she was..

I pray that allah would lessen their burden and make them tough to face this..because I am very sure allah gave them this kind of test to make sure they grow to become a better muslim..because I know he was a really good person at school previously..I mean as long as I know him..hes not a troublesome..

And..I just realized why allah has gotten me into this industry.. -> for me to perform better and help more people..inshaa allah..will try my very best to do so..

*a positive mind, creates positive cells that make up the body*

Being firm..

I hate to received calls from insurance agents..it's not that I am being arrogant..but it annoyed me when they couldnt accept a 'no' as a reply..was it so hard to believe that theres no budget for that just yet? Different people have different ways of managing their financial..cant they at least understand that?

Just now, I received a call from an insurance agent..Ive been talking really softly with them previously but I dont know whats happening to me today but I guess he came at the wrong timing..so I just being direct and straight forward with him..

A call came in...

Me: hello?
Him: maaf mengganggu..bla bla..sy dr ***** insurance...bole ckp sebentar?
Me: maaf..sy rs sy xberminat..
Him: mcm mn cik bole rs xberminat sedangkan sy belum bercerite ttg produk ni lg?
Me: maaf..sy tau kalo sy xnk..sy mmg xnk..n skr pn sy sgt sibuk..
Him: owh..kalau begitu, sy mnta maaf krn mengganggu cik..
Me: ok..tq

Klik!

This is the first time i did it this way..but even though hes questioning my decision..I believe I should just be firm with my stand..and tell him directly instead of listening to him but I was so confirmed my answer will still be 'no'..whats d point? Cuz I'll be wasting both his and my time..right?

*being firm may seem cruel but it also may save some resources*

Cinta Qaseh - True love?

Definitely NO!!

Hahaha..I did not exactly follow the drama series and was not intended to..and after watching 1 episode..I am definitely not going to continue watching it..thats an absolute!

Why?

Because I disagree with the plot..the way they tried to illustrate a love is so annoying to my view..

Ok..let me explain a bit of the synopsis..the drama is basically about a woman who is in love with a man and they were separated (dunno whats the cause)..later she is arranged to get married with the other man by her parents..but shes still in love with the first man..since they were separated, she got married to the second man..however, after they get married, the first man showed up..and here the questions appeared..what will be the end? But I dont really care about the ending of the drama..

I watched 1 episode and I thought 'thats it..this drama is stupid..' why? The episode I watched showed that this girl is still in love with the first man and she even lied to that man that shes not married! Even when that man saw her ring..she still tried to keep it as a secret..and there she was caught red handed by the husband which the second man..

I was soooo mad after watching it..what kind of wife is that?

For me..no matter how you were head overs heal towards a man but when you are married to other man..there is no way you can love that man anymore..your love is for your husband only..ONLY! Even though hes still in your heart..you can be too mean to show your towards that man..thats not right..

I hate it when I have to watch a ridiculous malay drama..I dont see it is a good point for showing a true love..thats not true love..thats betrayal..FULLSTOP!

Call me nuts or close minded person..thats my belief..thats what islam thought me..

Ive been there too..and I prayed to learn how to control it..and I am always thankful to allah that for His guidance..I am able to love my husband sincerely..for I know he can be one of the ways for me to enter jannah..inshaa allah..

P/s: I was babbling a lot when I watched the drama..and hubby asked me to slow down and not too emotionally involved into it..btw, thats not a nice drama telling bout love..nah nah..

*true love is always misinterpreted by many muslim*

Weekend entertainment

Entertainment?? Oh yeah baby!! Gwarhhhhh!!

The initial plan was to change the house look..since previous weekends werw not so good..the house was left untidy..poor house..so we thought this time we can use it to make up the house and make it look comfortable..but too bad the weather was sooooo nice for both sat n sunday..so again..the mess was still there.. (euwww..hate it but too lazy to move around) I gv excuses to myself that I didnt spend my time very well with hubby since I was too busy at work n I went home, exhausted..so why not spend the whole weekend with him? And I knew he was very happy lazying around with me instead of tidying the house..hahaha..

But today (yesterday actually since I am writing this at 12+ mid night..) I decided to change my hall and we both did it for only 1 hr..and I said to him 'we should do this earlier so we can change more and make the hall looks nice..' thank allah..he agreed..hehe..due to that, both my shirt n track suit covered with dust and when I was about to sit at the place where we used to lay down to watch tv..suddenly he said 'stop! U r going to make the place dusty since your track suit has dusts on it' and I was like 'whatever..I want to sit..im tired!!' And he asked me to sit somewhere else or sit properly so that I wouldnt transfer the dust to the carpet..

What the heck with him? Is he becoming me now? Hahahhaa..

Btw, here is our first invitation card addressed to us from one of our neighbours for their son's wedding..hehe..excited!!!

*cleaning up house is a gd exercise*

A beautiful friendship

I am waiting for my husband outside of the house..thought I should write something while waiting..hehe

I just got back from meeting my friends at impiana klcc..we had so much fun together..bought some food and stay at our friend's room..it was a last-minute plan when one of us who stayed at bintulu told us that shes coming to kl to attend some meeting so she wanted to meet up since she could not come here often..so there was the meeting..

I just realized that a lot have been going for some of us..some plan to get married this yr-gd news! And some are expecting babies this coming may-june..haha..what a bless..it ended up quite late as we were trying to get the updates from all of us and I can see none of us wanted to miss the updates..haha..it was fun and hilarious!!

It's great to see great friends from high school move forward and are building up their own world..so am I..but it's the greatest to still keep the friendship alive..hopefully, we can have more meet ups in the future no matter how big our family are going to be..so that we can take some times to look at our innocent self 10 years back..n be thankful of how far we have grown..in shaa allah *what a joyful years*

Alhamdulillah that we are still the same person we were back then..we know how to appreciate each other.. :)

*Beautiful friendship creates amazing sparks*

Lesson learned..

Never in my mind would I imagine that I have to deal with this mess..It's really awful that I (we) had to face some weird, inconsiderate people..

We involved in accident few weeks back..it was between our car and a motorcycle (ride by two high school students, of whom still on L licence)..to cut it short..both parties were actually at fault..but due to our too much consideration as we at first thought that we were the only one who were at fault, they were trying to take advantage on us..later when we realized that they were at fault too..so we demanded them to take responsibilities too..It's not so much..only costed about RM300-400..but to my shock, the parents believed their son was not guilty..and even after the agreement was made, the mother was still hysterical and she suddenly scolded my husband (which looked ugly to me..for a mother to do that..note that shes a teacher too..*sigh*) and it was only because of RM100..i repeat..RM100!! RM100 is only like RM10 these days..and she made a fuss because of that..I really could not digest that..oh, btw..the agreement was that they only pay RM100 of the total damage..it's not a lot, no??

I am really thankful that it's over now..and I never have to see that ugly mom anymore..

I have learnt a lot from this experience..to know that there were many kinds of human being and they can be really ugly..but other than all the ugly experiences, I am really thankful that our relationship has tighten after this incident..we finally understood our different languages..and the incident made us better at working as a team..it also increased our trust towards each other..and changed both of us to be a better person..

For that, I thank you Allah..I knew everything that He set for us is the best for us..and I really have my faith on that..


*There is always a bright light at the end of a dark road*

Sayang by shae

I have started listening to Hot.fm these few weeks and I came across this song which I thought was simple,sweet and nice..I just loved it! hehe.. Every time I listened to this song, all I could think of was my husband..so today, while on the way to the office..this song was played and I listened to it very well..and I just realized that it has one verse saying 'jagalah hatimu untukku..' and I was like..no..this is totally not my husband..yeah..he's been loving me for the past nine years or maybe ten years as of this year..even though he knew I was not in love with him until three years ago..so, I am quite confident (and pray at the same time too) that he'll never betray me..Inshaa allah..

I always have this mindset that I was the only who was after him when we started to be together three years ago and I still have it even after we were married..but today, I just opened my eyes and see that he's still the same person who were totally into me..yeap..my sister was right about him.. <-whenever I felt down about him, I told my sister and she always has the same thought that I was exaggerating things..that I was too emotional about everything when everything (related to him) was actually just fine..

We both have ups and downs..we both fought a lot..we both are totally two different persons from two different worlds..we have the very least common things between each other..we are not sweet couple like others..but we both know  by heart that we really love each other and we cared about each other so much so we fought a lot because we dont know how to express our feelings towards each other..maybe thats the trait the we both have in common..hahahaha~

so this is the lyrics;

Sayang apa khabar dengan mu
Di sini ku merindukan kamu
Ku harap cinta mu takkan berubah
Kerna di sini ku tetap untukmu

Sayang apa khabar dengan mu
Cobalah kamu telepon diriku
Ku rindu dengar suara indahmu
Kerna dirimulah semangat hidupku

Sayang dengarlah permintaan ku
Jangan ragu kan cintaku
Sayang percayalah apa kataku
Kerna ku sayang kamu

Sayang dengarlah permintaanku
Jaga hatimu untukku
Sayang dengarlah bisikan hatiku
Kerna ku sayang kamu

Source: http://liriklagu.my/lirik-lagu-sayang-shae/

I am so in love with this song!!!


*Unspoken love does not usually mean you are not loved by him/her*

:_(

Life has been miserable these days..

FULLSTOP

Mengemas rumah bersama suami..

Bunyi tajuk ala ala cerita shin chan..hahaha..saya sgt terpengaruh dengan shin chan nampaknya..

Baru2 ini ada sesi mengemas halaman rumah..bahagian dalam rumah sudah dikemas minggu sebelumnya..alhamdulillah..buat sedikit2..rumah lebih selesa diduduki..

Penat juga mengemas halaman rumah..banyak pokok yang dicantas..kemudian sapu..mungkin hari ini sambung mengemas daun2 yang bersepah..tapi hari ini tidak berat seperti sebelum ini sebab mahu bersantai sahaja..menikmati cuti..hehehe..

Terlupa ambil gambar sebelum kerja2 pembersihan..hanya ada gambar selepas sahaja..tetapi cukuplah untuk tatapan dan kepuasan diri sendiri..beruntung punya suami yang sangat baik..sama2 mengemas rumah..pada mulanya, ingatkan suami seorang yang tidak tahu mengemas kerana tahh dia tidak pernah melakukan kerja2 dirumah..tetapi alhamdulillah..kerja2 yang dia buat semua memuaskan dan menyenangkan hati..syukurrr sangat2..

Terima kasih, ya Allah... :)

*Mengemas bersama suami menyihatkan badan..hahaha*