Business trip to korea -day 1

My co had secured a contract with a korean company to do their process and I was asked to go there for technology transfer..at first, I was very delighted..yeap I have been dreaming to have a business trip at overseas..

But that was my feeling at the first day..as the time passed..I knew I was actually not really happy to go to korea since I couldnt bring my husband along..

My flight was at 1am and I arrived in korea at 8.20am local time..our agent picked us (there were 3 of us and plus 1 wife of one of us *jealous*) up at the airport and brought us sightseeing at seoul for a while..he wanted to bring us to namdaemun but we decided just to have a lunch and went straight to the hotel right after that..

We had bibimbap at a korean restaurant..I thought the taste was outstanding as I was always craved for that every time I watched korean drama that has eating scene..however, it tasted just like typical rice mixed with other food or side dish or in malay we called it as lauk..the only thing was that it can make you full for only just one cup due to high starch rice they used..alhamdulillah I managed to finish it even though it did not really suit my tastebud..

We reached our hotel at around 3.30pm local time..and right now I am in my room feeling lonely..

I just realized that..I have always needed my husband to be by my side or at least my family..or else I would feel really and sad..and that..increases my tendency to cry.. T_T I told him that I missed him so much..I cried..I was expecting that he would pity me..but instead he was angry and he told me that I need to focus on my work and do my best..I was so shocked but I knew thats the best for me..that is something that I should be doing instead of feeling down and let the feeling overwhelmed me..

Alhamdulillah allah granted me someone who could always reminded me of things that I should do..typically the right and relevant things to do..

And I also learned that any place that I may think as better than my country can never be better at my eyes without my family around.. *sad*

*theres no other better place to stay without a family around*

Moving on..

I used to be called as 'pengatur org-suke mengatur org' or in other words..'bossy'..im not sure..I might be one years back..but since I was called that..I tried my best to change myself as I thought I shouldnt hv behaved that way..

To make it clear..I was called that because I used to seek help from other people to get my job done quickly..but I believe I did the same to those people as well..maybe I was not..or my effort was not enough..

So..I changed myself..I tried my very best not to ask help from anyone..this also happened at my workplace..I did my work on my own most of the time so I wont burden other people and I hate it when people called me that way..

Since then, I believe I managed to change myself a bit..I prevent myself to ask for other people's help..but yet..I was called that again when I asked someone to get me something when that someone was about to go to the place where that something was placed in..I was a bit shock and that really hurted me inside..I thought it has been sometime I didnt act that way..but maybe I did..I dont know..

Sometimes I felt that they always like to see the bad side of me..they did not try to look at how the people whom I have asked for help treated me too..they did not treated me that well every time..but still why am I always been spotted on? Why am I always be the bad person?

I used to stay and please them so that they will look at me in a positive way..but as what has happened today..I thought to myself maybe I should stop..and move on..stop pleasing people and moving on with my own life..

*never argue..just move on..defending yourself will not bring you anywhere cause when you are already bad in other people's eyes..you will always be that bad person..stop wasting your time on that*