When a lot of things changed..

I used to speak up my mind..and I figured out most of my girl friends pretended to like me and befriended me but they talk bad about me behind my back..I just found out about it from the boy friends..

So later I slowed down and as time passed by, I have stopped speaking up my mind..most of the things I did in a group conversation were to agree with one of them so I would not be the one whose different from the others..this happened even though I was not in the same agreement with them..I used to have different persepective..

However I realized I was not happy and I slowly tried to speak up my mind..so the existence of this blog..

Now..I have some courages to speak up..and I have followed one group conversation that was participated by my good friends..and I was disagreed with the whole idea they were bringing up and it also involved my religion of which they did not realize a bit about it..I waited and waited if anybody in the has different idea..but there was none!!at first I decided to just let go and move on..but it kept hunting me because I didnt correct my friends even though I knew at least 50% of confidence that they might be wrong bout it..I might not be right either..but the chances were 50-50..

Then I talked about it to my husband and he insisted me to at least speak something..cuz thats the smallest thing I can do..as according to him..so I did..

Later I realized they did not response to my view..none of them did..and I assumed they might have created another group and excluding myself in the group..

Was my doing wrong? I dont know..hopefully it was my bad feeling only..husband adviced me to always thought good of people..and never make bad assumptions on them unless they confessed it to be true..

Huhu

*things change when people changed*

Ramyun..

It's been a while..been busy with work and a little lazy to update anything..the pictures are there..but the mood is nowhere to be found..huhu..

I have a husband who doesnt eat japanese food..it's like a huge NO to him..but one day..

'Awk..sy terasa nk makan ramen la..' and gulp..what?? Did I hear it wrongly? No..I did not..hows that can happen? Hihihi..

Because of this..............

How did he know bout this?

Ok..one day, I was really2 feel like eating ramen..but the closest I can find thats halal is in shah alam..resulted from my googling work..hehehe..one day I'll eat ramen at oshima restaurant..so..I searched and keep on searching until I found a blog talking bout this instant ramen..

I quickly went to the store and bought one for me as a trial..while eating, I offered to him to give it a try and I was quite impressed that he liked it..heheheehe..

Today, we went to the store to buy some groceries and we got us 6 of them as there were some discounted price for buying more..wooohooooo!!!

And thats how he ended up asking for ramen tonight..hehehe

*people always change*

Gembira atau sedih?

Hari2 yang sibuk sejak lebih sebulan yang lepas membuatkan aku terpaksa menangguhkan pengajian untuk sementara waktu.

Selepas berkahwin, hidup lebih banyak teruji dan diduga dengan pelbagai masalah buat aku rasa cemburu melihat orang2 sekeliling ketawa riang tapi aku tak mampu ketawa dari hati disebabkan otak yang tidak henti berfikir tentang masalah dan kerja2 yang tertangguh.

Kadang2 terdetik, alangkah bagusnya jika pengajianku telah tamat. Maka aku mampu untuk lebih fokus pada bebanan kerja yang semakin bertambah setiap hari. Aku risau kemungkinan2 yang aku akan terlepas pandang perkara2 penting dan menyebabkan masalah di masa akan datang.

Hati selalu berbisik 'ya allah..beratnya hidup ini..teringin sekali untuk melupakan bebanan kerja dan bergembira sahaja..'

Aku mungkin seorang yang pelik kerana ada sekelumit rasa gembira dalam hati bila aku terpaksa menghadapi semua ini. Mungkin kerana aku rasakan ini sebagai cabaran untuk aku lepasi dalam membentuk diri yang lebih baik untuk masa akan datang.

Entahlah..hati aku berbolak balik antara rasa gembira dan rasa sedih..

Doa aku, moga allah mudahkan semua jalan aku sekeluarga juga berkati rezeki yang kami peroleh.

Ameen.

*bintang, bintang, berapakah jarakmu untuk aku gapai?*

slow progress

what's with slow progress??

i feel that my head is going to blow when dealing with laid back people..

I have always tried to avoid dealing with this kind of people because they somehow dont have the sense of urgency..

all they do is relaxing and eating and sleeping and more relaxing..no productivity!

oh pleaseeeee!! dont you feel sorry to waste even only 1 second? specially when you have something to do????

i like progress! and i need progress!!

arghhhh!! why do i have to deal with themmmm???? why?? why???

im no perfect person too..i can still tolerate/compromise with a lot of things but i really cant handle it when small simple tasks which can be done in 1 day..but they were not completed even after 3 days!!

i hate it so much!! like seriously!! whats on your mind??? dont u have goals??


Dear Allah,

Please grant me more patience and please open their heart to take life more seriously..please and please and please..i beg you.. T_T



*S.T.R.E.S.S*

Contribution vs money

Which one is more important?

Haha..I used to have a principle where I have always wanted to contribute something to the country and may that lead to the ummah too..

I have gotten the opportunity to do that..but it seems that the journey is so tough..and with the fact the income is not as big as other people..and I am married..

But holding on my principle..and I have been living with it..I tried to shut my ears n to close my eyes from looking at other people's big income..specially my close friends..so that I will not be dragged into doing-my-work-for-the-sack-of-money mindset..and to my surprise..I managed to do it for like 2 years..

Now that I am married..I am expecting to achieve my goals that have been set for some years ahead..and it's quite hard on me since my timeline has been dragged for a year or two..feel like crying..and when I am at this stage..having people offered me job with higher pay..and people who tried to influence me in changing my job to get better pay..I have been refusing to the offers/invitations..until today..when one offered me a job that is very closely related to my current job with 150% higher pay (maybe it's not really high for some people out there) made me pause a while to think which one is important - my principle or money?

Yet..I decided to choose my principle over money at this point of time I am writing this entry..

Am I making a bad move? What about other people out there? Is there anyone has the same thought as mine?

May Allah lead me to the right path and grant me more knowledge and achievement in life..

*sometimes money cant buy just everything*

Unexpected event

It was a hectic weekend...

Sat; cleaning up house, went for 'merisik' for my brother at night

Sun; attended an engagement event of a friend of mine, visited a schoolmate at kpj shah alam, went for grocery shopping at alamanda

But..of all events, I would like to share the moment of visiting my friend at the hospital - it really touched my heart and I could not stop myself from thinking about it.. T_T

I have gotten the message since last week and planned for a visit during the weekend..at first, I thought it was only a tumour (not a cancerous one) although it's usually can be cancerous but I wished to stay positive..

We reached there at around 2pm and after gathered with another 2 friends of mine..we went to the room..btw, it's 'he'..a male friend from my high school..so we had some conversation with him and later found out that it can be a cancerous one as it is already in 10-inch size..whats more..it affected the fatal organ, so only 2inch of it can be removed and he has to go for a chemotherapy session starting today to remove the rest of it..when I heard 10-inch..I thought 'it's huge!'..and I was really speechless because I was really sad to think about him and his family and he's still young anyway..

His mother was there and she could not stop crying..I can see how worry she was..after stayed there for a while, we decided to leave...all I can say to him at that time was only to remain positive for anything that may come up next..just make sure to have a positive thinking so that the cells can be positive as well in order to heal faster or at least it will not get worst..and later can survive better..

To my shock, his wife was really calm..really2 calm..I did not see any sign of tears in her eyes..I believe she was holding in inside her for she has a son and a husband to take care of..I could not imagine if I was in her place..I may not easily accept this and stay as calm as she was..

I pray that allah would lessen their burden and make them tough to face this..because I am very sure allah gave them this kind of test to make sure they grow to become a better muslim..because I know he was a really good person at school previously..I mean as long as I know him..hes not a troublesome..

And..I just realized why allah has gotten me into this industry.. -> for me to perform better and help more people..inshaa allah..will try my very best to do so..

*a positive mind, creates positive cells that make up the body*

Being firm..

I hate to received calls from insurance agents..it's not that I am being arrogant..but it annoyed me when they couldnt accept a 'no' as a reply..was it so hard to believe that theres no budget for that just yet? Different people have different ways of managing their financial..cant they at least understand that?

Just now, I received a call from an insurance agent..Ive been talking really softly with them previously but I dont know whats happening to me today but I guess he came at the wrong timing..so I just being direct and straight forward with him..

A call came in...

Me: hello?
Him: maaf mengganggu..bla bla..sy dr ***** insurance...bole ckp sebentar?
Me: maaf..sy rs sy xberminat..
Him: mcm mn cik bole rs xberminat sedangkan sy belum bercerite ttg produk ni lg?
Me: maaf..sy tau kalo sy xnk..sy mmg xnk..n skr pn sy sgt sibuk..
Him: owh..kalau begitu, sy mnta maaf krn mengganggu cik..
Me: ok..tq

Klik!

This is the first time i did it this way..but even though hes questioning my decision..I believe I should just be firm with my stand..and tell him directly instead of listening to him but I was so confirmed my answer will still be 'no'..whats d point? Cuz I'll be wasting both his and my time..right?

*being firm may seem cruel but it also may save some resources*