Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Being left behind.. T_T

How do I start?..hurmm..hurm..hurm..

Knowing that your ex-bf's progress exceeded yours..does that make you sad? I mean in a jealousy way..if it does, was it actually a bad thing? was it normal for human being? those were some of the questionsss that filled up my mind when it happened..

I am building up a family (soon)..I am someone who like to think every brain..never stopped working..actually thats how i perceived it as I constantly have a dream in my sleep EVERYDAY..I ouldnt count my sleep without a dream per year..thats how much I dream every i thought it's just that my brain did not want to stop working..but I am ok with that..having that, I always have plans on my mind..for the next day routine or even next few years ahead..and I organized it pretty nice in my brain (hopefully the targets can be achieved as time passed by), building a family needs a lot of money - thats common sense,no? no need calculations although I did calculate for that..haha..

Since I have been organizing my life so much so I didnt really keep track of any other people's progress except ones who are close to me..then later I just got to know that my ex has already terms of materials to be exact..he will get marry soon and he also managed to buy a car-not a cheap one though..and that..really surprised me!! I thought of 'how in the world that he managed to do that as I myself knew very well I will not yet be able to do that at the moment..? and the fact that I started to work earlier than him! Oh no!! it's really hard for me to digest it..I have been questioned myself A LOT..did i take a wrong path? (this happened previously-when I was sooo down..I am in a pharmaceutical industry and I assumed it is not yet really grow in the business is pretty slow..) am i moving too slow? was it my fault? was it my co's fault? I couldnt answer those questions..and I was quite down..

What did I do when I was so down? again..I think a that increased more burden to my brain..sorry brain for making you work non stop.. -__-""" then I found an answer to's just that I forgot my first ever goal when I decided to take this path - to make contributions to the ummah in any way, be it the ilm (knowledge in arabic term), the skills, anything..once I realized that, I instantly became calm and thought thats ok for me...even though I knew I was left behind..

and that's my story... :)

moral of the story..whenever we felt that we were left behind specially in terms of monetary - that's what people being chasing the most nowadays..why dont we try to take a deep breath..and look back..and dig the purpose of life we have set back then (the time when we were not bias with life and being naive)..then we will be able to stay calm and work more to achieve the goals..and stop comparing ourselves to others..remember, different people have different goals, right?


*Money and wealth are not every thing..but IMAN is*

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